A little something to get you through the lockout

In a futuristic dystopian world where basketball is illegal, Charles Barkley battles basketball monsters, is confused by robots, and everybody has laser beams.

This game looks amazing. Just amazing. The official game site is down but I worked at it and found a mirror. I’m downloading it now and I’ll post the link if it turns out to not be a virus.



Pete Maravich on the NBA lockout

The all-time NCAA scoring champ (44.2 ppg!) and five-time All-Star starting guard recently took some time out from dunking on Jesus to weigh in on the League’s present contractual difficulties:

“It’s going to continually get worse because America is built on one basic principle: greed.”*

This kindly old man man also averaged 27-5-and-5 (81% from the line)

This kindly old man once dropped 68 points on Clyde Frazier's Knicks.

“Pistol Pete,” always colorful, went on to offer up some more specific insights into pro basketball’s labor policies.

Asked about parity and revenue-sharing, Pete replied, “They don’t particularly care about balance. Just the TV markets. Everyone says we got [All-Star forward and free agent] Sidney Wicks but I don’t see him here … the reason all those teams like Chicago, New York, and Boston get the good players is because they are in the major TV markets.”** Wicks was ultimately sent to the Celtics after league arbitration despite signing with Maravich’s fledgling New Orleans Jazz.

In light of some spirited discussion regarding the integrity and openness of the NBA’s owners and front offices, Maravich, who once averaged 27-7-and-4, had this to say: “I dealt honestly with these people. I can’t tolerate any more deceit and deception on the part of the coach and the present administration. [GM] Pat Williams and [Coach] Cotton Fitzsimmons have lied to me.”*** Harsh words to be sure, issued after secret negotiations led to a trade from the playoff contending Atlanta Hawks to the brand-new New Orleans expansion team despite assurances to the contrary. After that, Pete says he “realized what a cold, flesh-peddling business basketball could be.” Ouch!

Everyone has a bad day at the office, but did the first-ballot Hall of Famer have any more general opinions on the NBA writ large?

“It’s difficult to be happy in this business… I’m completely frustrated with basketball. I’m sorry I ever came into this league.”****

Lockout with your socks out, Pistol Pete!

* 1976 interview with George White of the Houston Chronicle
Excerpt from Maravich’s autobiography, Heir to a Dream (1987)
*** 1974 interview with Darrel Simmons in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution
**** Ibid.

(Note: this may or may not be a teaser to an upcoming article which may or may not be a book review of a recent biography on the life and times of Pete Maravich.)

Search terms that have lead people to Hoops, I Did It Again

Abridged, but fairly representative. 


old batman (41 people)
why is the nba lockout happening (13)
brandon roy crying (7)
kobe crying (6)
kobe crying spurs (6)
kobe bryant hates gays (4)
appleseed cast middle states (3)
hockey basketball (3)
deadpool porn (2) (wtf?)
ffat captain america (2)
baby baby ooh dwight (2)
faggots fucking (2)
gay men fucking (2)
white guy plays for sacramento kings (2)
funny ass dominican picture (2)
my last (2)
kobe fuck (2)
rondo on dudes neck high school (2)
do gay people actually care what kobe bryant said (1)
bitches love hoops (1)
gay black dressed up as superman on howard stern (1)
somewheredeep down in my heart (1)
gay people fucking (1)
nba typos (1)
the swept my knicks. (maybe i did) but i did something constructive with my time like root for (1)
diversity bullshit (1)
its not about athletism it’s all about heart (1)
bears, bears will tear us apart webcomic (1)
you boundary fucking faggots anger me, (1)
dominance matrices on sport (1)
“serbian guy” (1)
using reading redux in a sentence (1)
big old penis (1)
does the nba hire entry level attorneys (1)

Required Reading: Downer Edition

Evaluating overpaid players is a difficult pastime. Outside of a few obvious mistakes (Joe Johnson, Dan Gadzuric, etc.), it’s always an argument to determine who is being paid more than they are worth to a team. Econ Professor and cult leader David Berri weighs in.

Speaking of wildly overpaid players: Gilbert Arenas’ explanation of the NBA lockout.

The first true sign of the NBA apocalypse: Scalabrine’s off to Europe.

Just in case: The NBA Fan’s Guide to the Euroleague

On a lighter note, Shane Battier is treating the NBA lockout like a particularly jarring breakup.

Sports and Our Media-Driven Culture

(This is my first post for HIDIA, and I’m very excited to be a part of this collaboration.  Hopefully I can help expand our horizons to beyond just basketball in the future as we take this project further.)

I awoke the other morning – hungover in the afternoon as expected after working the night of the 4th of July – and groggily flipped on my laptop as I downed a glass of water. I’m on Facebook for no more than ten minutes when suddenly my news feed starts blowing up.

I can’t believe they let her off!

What a fucked up system, it was obvious she was guilty!

The jury may have said she was not guilty, but God will not be fooled when it comes time to judge!

“Oh yeah,” I mumble to myself. “Wasn’t some woman on trial?” My indifference to hyped up media stories is a well-known trait amongst my friends. I abhor the paparazzi and what they have done to American entertainment. I detest the way we uphold celebrities, putting them on some golden pedestal, wherein every move they make can be scrutinized, analyzed, judged, and then re-analyzed. Only in America can you get a reality show because your mom was once a Vice-Presidential candidate and you got knocked up in a tent by your teenage boyfriend, or because your father was once the attorney of a former football superstar (hey, foreshadowing).

But there was something about these Facebook comments that exploded onto my grimy laptop screen. Such intensity, such disgust, such seemingly omniscient judgment. For a woman they don’t even know! Some no-name piece of white trash (as my friend so eloquently put it) who happens to be hot, and to have potentially killed her baby daughter (hey, I’m not passing judgment, I already told you I didn’t watch the trial). “Why do you all care so much?” I thought to myself. This woman, guilty or not, has had her private life thrown in front of the spotlight, like some endangered creature new to the local zoo, with all manner of people pointing at her and whispering opinions about her guilt. Where do you people come off?

As my seething, hypocritical temperament cooled, I remembered how apt this was to stick with my previous plans and finally complete my first entry for HIDIA: a look at how we as fans have bought into this hyper-sensationalized, media-driven culture surrounding the world of sports

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A little over 17 years ago, Arnold Palmer was playing his last round in the PGA, the New York Knicks were battling to win their first championship since the 70s, the New York Rangers were already receiving the infamous ticker tape parade through Broadway, and the World Cup was being kicked off in Chicago (which no one was really watching anyway).

And a white Bronco was driving down Interstate 405, trailed by a cadre of police vehicles and media helicopters, about to change the face of sports personalities forever.

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Foul Play: This American Life on Flopping

This American Life’s piece on flopping in the NBA, and the story fans tell themselves about its origins. It’s one act in an excellent episode about crybabies, which you can hear in its entirety here.

Ira Glass: Sports, of course, is a place where there are some of the biggest crybabies. And in professional basketball, in the NBA, there’s a kind of institutionalized crybabying called “the flop,” which has not always been part of the game. One of our producers, Alex Blumburg started to wonder if the story that basketball fans tell themselves about the origins of the flop is even true.

Alex Blumberg: This story is almost hardened conventional wisdom among NBA fans. If you search on the internet, you’ll find all sorts of versions of this story. It’s best summed up by Bill Simmons. He wrote, “The single most disgusting NBA development of the past few years: the flopping. Slowly, regretfully, inexplicably, the sport is morphing into soccer.” And that’s because, if you watched the World Cup, you would see regularly in game after game a guy dribbling the ball, and all of a sudden he would crash to the ground, throw up his arms, roll around grabbing his ankle, writhing in pain. And then they’d show the replay and you’d see that nobody touched the guy. He’d just fall over. And that happened every single game.

Ira: And in soccer there are players known as being great floppers. The word flop really comes from there.

Alex: It’s clearly part of the game in soccer. And so the story goes that as more and more Europeans started playing NBA basketball – Europeans had been raised in the culture of soccer, they all embraced the culture of the flop, and when they started playing basketball, they brought it with them to the NBA.

Ira: So if this convetional wisdom were true, it means that somewhere there’s a patient zero, who is carrying the virus from European soccer into American basketball. Do we know who that patient zero is?

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Oh, Dirk

Some choice quotes below from Spiegel’s incredible interview with Dirk Nowitzki. Dude continues to win us over.


Nowitzki: […] Of course it fills me with pride to hear that fans in Germany got up at 2 a.m. to watch our games and that they celebrated the championship in my hometown of Würzburg as if Germany had just won the football World Cup.


Nowitzki: But soon I will have lived in America for 13 years. At the beginning I was condescended to and laughed at. “The nice boy from Germany will never make it,” people said. Still, I never gave up. Now, I have been celebrated by 250,000 people in Dallas at the championship parade. That was an unbelievably intense feeling. I trembled.

SPIEGEL: You are now a German-American idol .

Nowitzki: To be honest, I slowly have the feeling that I’m not cut out for such moments.

SPIEGEL: What do you mean?

Nowitzki: Well, at the very least I don’t behave terribly competently. I feel ashamed when the entire focus is on me. I think people can see that. In public appearances, I am stiff as a board.

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